Maybe I Should Win an Award or Something

When you read this, you might think, "Dang, this girl is vain." Well, I might be, but I like to think I'm not most of the time.

A while back, I got a friend request from one of my ex boyfriends. (When we ended, there was no malice. I just unfriended him because we hadn't talked in three years, but I still kept up with his mom and little sister.)

I thought about whether or not I should add him, leaving the request in Facebook purgatory for a few days.

Then I finally clicked accept for the stupidest of reasons. Later that day, I was going to receive an official-looking piece of paper and a medal saying that I was part of a fancy-pants society for smart people. (I don't know how I got in. Must have been a fluke). Well, in my convoluted little mind, I thought it would be a good idea to add this guy so that when a picture of me holding my prestigious piece of paper and wearing my golden medal (it wasn't actually gold, but bear with me) inevitably appeared on Facebook, my ex would see me and be like, "Wow, she sure has her life together," which would be a complete and total lie, but social media is for the rare exciting moments in life and none of the poop.

So I added him, expecting to hear from him (because why else would you friend someone?) but never did.

I have thought of stepping it up a notch, editing myself into a video with the president like they do in Forrest Gump, and the president would turn to me and say, "Good job. You saved our planet with your mere existence. Also, you're the best artist in the entire world, so you win the internet."

Because that's believable.

So I won't do that. Probably.

Downtown and Deaf

Happy belated Pi Day, everyone! Yesterday morning, 3/14/15 9:26:53 is the most digits of pi I have ever experienced in my life.

In our city, the glorious-ness of Pi Day was overshadowed by the fact that yesterday also happened to be St. Patrick's Day Parade Day, better known as Getting Drunk in Public Starting at Ten in the Morning Day. I hate this city-wide holiday with a passion. Normally I don't even leave my room on this odious holiday, but yesterday was my Sabbath, so I wanted to get out while I could. I was going to go to a show called The Boyfriend being put on by my school, but I couldn't find the shuttle stop (it was moved because of the parade), so I decided instead to walk around the city a bit to get bagels (because bagels).
BIG MISTAKE.
On my way back from buying bagels, I walked by a short, white, visibly intoxicated man in his mid-20s attempting to sing along with a song he was blasting on his phone. He wasn't with anyone else, and he waved at me as I walked by. I smiled slightly, internally amused by his stupidity and drunken confidence, but also tragically aware of the pain and destruction that can be caused by the inebriated. I walked past him and immediately forgot about him.

Quick side note:
One of my "lovable" quirks is that when I talk to strangers on the phone (often when ordering food or calling a store to find some information), I speak in an accent. For some reason it makes me feel more confident, like if I say something stupid they won't know it's me if I'm in the store later that day. (I know. It's silly.) However, I can't really do that in real life, so something I will sometimes do when I don't want to have a long conversation with someone I don't know or random guys try to talk to me on the street (I live in the city), I will pretend I'm deaf and communicate in sign language until they go away. This usually works when it comes to butt-faced guys on the street because the language barrier proves too difficult of a challenge when trying to get my number.
End side note.

So I walked by the intoxicated guy, and put him out of mind. I had bagels to look forward to. Not fifty feet later, guess who saunters up next to me. Yep. I try ignoring him, but he keeps trying to talk to me. I walk a little faster, hoping my freakishly long legs will allow me to out-stride the small man, and he'll get tired and leave. What follows is a relatively accurate transcript of our conversation. I put what I signed in parentheses. Keep in mind that I am mouthing the words I sign as I sign them, so he can sort of understand me.
Guy: Hi.
Me: (Hello)
Guy: What's your name?
Me: (Some random name sign I picked up while learning sign language)
Guy: Are you deaf?
Me: (Yes)
Guy: Can you understand me?
Me: (I can read lips sometimes)
Guy: You can read lips?
Me: (Yes)
Guy: You're really beautiful.
Me: (Thank you)
Guy: Can I have your number?
Me: (No, thank you)
Guy: You're mean.
Now, this guy seemed super fascinated by my supposed deafness and didn't give up when most guys would.
Guy: Can you talk?
Me: (No. I'm deaf)
Guy: Can't deaf people talk?
Me: (I never learned)
Guy: Come on, talk. I know you can.
Me: (No)
Guy: Come on, I want to hear your voice.
At this point I turned to face forward, so I couldn't see his face, but I could still hear him.
Guy: Please? Let me hear your voice and I'll leave you alone. You're mean. Come on. Talk. Talk to me. You're mean. Won't you at least look at me?
He finally seemed to understand that I couldn't see his face and, as a result, couldn't "hear" him, so he jumped in front of me so I could see him again.
Guy: Let me hear your voice.
Me: (No. Please leave me alone)
I walked past him, but he kept following me. Every time he got in my line of sight, I signed "Leave" (as in go away). He started yelling to random people we passed.
Guy: Hey, she's deaf.
Random guy: She's deaf?
Guy: Yeah, but she won't let me hear her voice.
Random guy: Just leave her alone.
I kept signing "Leave."
The guy got in front of me again, so I looked at him and signed "Leave."
Guy: I don't understand you.
I stopped, pointed at him, and then in the opposite direction that I was traveling.
Guy: You want me to go away?
Me: (Yes)
I started walking faster. There is this one square around a corner and a block from where I was at this point where the main crowd of drunk people was gathered, and there were cops checking bags at all the entrances. I knew that if I could get to this checkpoint, I could alert a cop that this guy was harassing me and hopefully he'd stop.
I turned the corner, the guy right behind, and then I heard his voice start to fade. He stopped at the corner but continued to yell after me.
Guy: You're mean! Come on! F*** you! You're not even cute! F*** you! You're just a b***h!

And on and on and on until I got close to the checkpoint.

Through this experience, I got a glimpse of a single aspect what life may be like for people who are deaf. While this jerk was harassing me, I took comfort in the fact that, if I needed to, I could run up to someone and tell them what was happening. I know that there are many people out there that can't just
Being a woman in a city, I have had a lot of experience with street harassment - it has become a commonplace occurrence. I have never had something this bad happen, though. Yes, I will admit my own fault for going out in public by myself on annual Get Drunk in Public Day, but what happened was still unacceptable. Call me old fashioned, but I truly believe that no one deserves to be harassed by random passersby.

So, my dears, don't be drunken jerks, and have a safe and happy St. Patrick's Day.

But... Where Did All My Stuff Go?

Last year I packed up all my stuff to go home from school. Sometime between then and now, I have misplaced a bunch of the random things I have collected throughout the past couple years.
Since moving in and now, I have misplaced even more things.
WHERE DID ALL MY STUFF GO???

Alas, the first semester of school so far has been incredibly busy, so I am not surprised that I misplaced some of my stuff, but some really random things have gone missing. For example: my computer charger.
I have not removed my charger from my room, and I am pretty sure I last saw it plugged into the wall. So where did it go? Similarly, all my art supplies seem to have gone *poof* away. What is happening???

This year is my junior year. It is just beginning to sink in that I will soon be a "real person," expected by society to get a "real job" (which, if we're being honest with ourselves, doesn't exist in the art world).

In the spirit of the season I will make a short list of things I'm thankful for in no particular order:
-Alarm clocks
-Gilmore Girls
-My mom
-Warm fires
-Funny movies
-Good food
-Tea
-Hair feathers
-Friend dates
-Friends to go on friend dates with
-Hamburgers

Things I'm not thankful for:
-Alarm clocks
-Black Friday
-Large crowds
-Thirteen-to-fifteen page papers
-Scary movies

So that wraps up this little mind-vomit. Have a good day, e'rybody!

To Live Would be an Awfully Big Adventure

As I am sure you have heard, one of the most amazing actors and creative spirits has passed away. Robin Williams was such an inspiration to me as an artist and a person. He has taught me so many things, through his characters and his life.

As an artist, Mr. Williams inspired me. He put so much of himself in his work and acted with such a passion, it was impossible to imagine him in any other profession. Robin knew the real meaning of loving what you do and doing what you love. He was a little zany at times, yes, but in the best possible way. He broke the mold and had fun. He was true to himself.

"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

Robin Williams inspired me as a person. If you read anything about his life or talk to anyone who knew him personally, you hear over and over how selfless and kind he was. I have heard that he could sometimes be a little difficult to work with, but that his spirit was infectious. It was one of my dreams to meet him and tell him how much his work and words meant to me, both growing up and in my young adult life.

"Well, He broke the mold when He made me. He made me very special."

- Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire

The sense of humor that Robin had was so universal that he could make anyone laugh. He brought together generations with his jokes and allowed the world to laugh together. He connected people through emotion. He made people fall in love with poetry, with an off-the-wall genie, with a man who would do anything for his kids, with a zany scientist, with a boy who grew up too fast, and so many more ideas and characters. He broke your heart a million times and made it melt a million times more. Through his work, Robin Williams connected with humanity in a way very few actors can. I think that President Obama said it best:

"Robin Williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny, a president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien - but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh. He made us cry. He gave his immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most - from our troops stationed abroad to the marginalized on our own streets."

"The truth is, if anything, I'm probably addicted to laughter."

"The only weapon we have is comedy."

"You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!"

- Robin Williams as Genie

Robin, I wish you could see how much you are missed. Maybe then you wouldn't have left us so soon. Oh Captain, my Captain, you were a great man. My condolences go out to his family and friends and fans, and to every heart he has ever touched.

"A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in Heaven. Then we'll all be together forever."

- Robin Williams as Chris Nielsen

Rest in Peace, Robin Williams

1951 - 2014

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."

The First 30 Seconds of Working Out

When I first start working out, I feel great. I feel on top of the world, untouchable. I feel like I can run for miles and miles, not stopping for anything! The endorphins are flowing, and life is good. All my bad thoughts about exercising go away, all of the negative feelings built up from the last time working out just disappear.

Then, there's 30 seconds later...

But then the next day I feel freaking awesome and unstoppable, so I do it over and over again. Oh yeah.

SHOO BUG!!

One of the best parts of any workout or busy day is the end, when you get to clean away the grime of life. Showers are a safe space, a space for contemplation, not a place to get ambushed.

So, have you ever had one of those days when you're standing in the shower thinking, "La la la, showers are awesome!"

Then, out of freaking nowhere, you are attacked by some crazy little wing-ed biddy who comes up all in yo bidness!

Like, seriously, dude? Let me have this. Please.

Not-so-common Courtesy

You know something wonderful? Food.

You know something not so wonderful? When people go through your food.

When I was a kid, I learned not to go through other people's refrigerators when I visited them. Now, call me crazy (hey, Crazy), but I always assumed that this was a common lesson taught to young children. Anyone else? I used to think that people understood that it wasn't polite to go through someone else's food without permission, but I can't tell you how many times I have had this happen to me in the past couple years:

I find it especially annoying when people do this at school because, like many college students, I am more-often-than-not broke, and food can be expensive when you're living off summer savings. Thus, it irks me when people feel that they can just go through my food and take whatever they want.

Can we make a pact, you and me, to not do this to other people? Does that sound fair? I think that sounds fair.