When you read this, you might think, "Dang, this girl is vain." Well, I might be, but I like to think I'm not most of the time.
A while back, I got a friend request from one of my ex boyfriends. (When we ended, there was no malice. I just unfriended him because we hadn't talked in three years, but I still kept up with his mom and little sister.)
I thought about whether or not I should add him, leaving the request in Facebook purgatory for a few days.
Then I finally clicked accept for the stupidest of reasons. Later that day, I was going to receive an official-looking piece of paper and a medal saying that I was part of a fancy-pants society for smart people. (I don't know how I got in. Must have been a fluke). Well, in my convoluted little mind, I thought it would be a good idea to add this guy so that when a picture of me holding my prestigious piece of paper and wearing my golden medal (it wasn't actually gold, but bear with me) inevitably appeared on Facebook, my ex would see me and be like, "Wow, she sure has her life together," which would be a complete and total lie, but social media is for the rare exciting moments in life and none of the poop.
So I added him, expecting to hear from him (because why else would you friend someone?) but never did.
I have thought of stepping it up a notch, editing myself into a video with the president like they do in Forrest Gump, and the president would turn to me and say, "Good job. You saved our planet with your mere existence. Also, you're the best artist in the entire world, so you win the internet."
Because that's believable.
So I won't do that. Probably.
