All-nighters are the WORST

The following represents my mental state throughout the night tonight...

11:00 pm - Ugh. So much work to do. This all-nighter will be terrible, but at least we'll get a lot done.
12:00 am - Yeah! I'm on top of this! We'll finish in like two hours and it will be great! Life is great, you are great, everything is just great!
2:00 am - So there is a lot more work that I thought... Dang. We should have done this forever ago. But, then again, we never had time. Oh well. You gotta do what you gotta do.
3:00 am - Ugh. So much work to do. This all-nighter is terrible. We're not getting anything done.
4:30 am - I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I'M TAKING A NAP. LIFE IS TERRIBLE, MY WORK LOOKS TERRIBLE, EVERYTHING IS DUMB. I'M NEVER PULLING ANOTHER ALL-NIGHTER EVER AGAIN. I'm going to go take a nap...
5:00 am - Alright, we got this. I took a nap, I'm feeling good. It sucks, but that's okay because... Oh, nope. We lost Pants...


In case the time lapse didn't make it clear, Pants and I decided to pull an all-nighter tonight! I'm still up, she isn't. And now I am blogging, so there goes my productivity...

Disclaimer: I really love what I'm doing. If this were for any other class, I would not still be working, but because I am drawing and doing something I love, it's all worth the hard work.

Popular Kids and Friendzones

About a month and a half ago, my boyfriend and I broke up because we decided we were better off friends than boyfriend and girlfriend.
A few weeks ago I accidentally went on a date.

"How do you accidentally go on a date?"

I'll tell you how. You misread the situation, thinking that a guy just wants to hang out and get to know you better, and then they end up making a move, leaving them feeling embarrassed and you feeling stupid for not seeing the move coming.

Little things like this have been happening to me a lot lately. I want to be single. More than anything I want to focus on school and God and not have to worry about dating or all that jazz. I have a lot of guy friends, so I should be good at making it clear I only want a platonic friendship, right? WRONG.

Apparently in life guys and girls can't be "just friends" anymore. Shouldn't I be able to be friends with whomever I want without fearing that they will make a move on me, leaving me in the awkward position of telling them I'm not interested?

I don't believe in the "friendzone." I don't put people in the friendzone. I become friends with people. If things PURPOSEFULLY develop past that, cool. If not, fine. I'm just saying, there is no need to go straight into being in a relationship. Start with friendship.

Rant over.

Story time! In high school I was the weird quiet kid that no one talked to. I didn't have many friends and didn't hang out with anyone. I was never invited to parties or events. I didn't know how to navigate conversations or do the whole small talk thing. Having ADD, I developed slower than my peers emotionally and mentally, which made me an outcast in most situations.

Then there was this guy who we'll call the Director (he's going to college to be a music teacher). He was a hockey player and was involved in the musical. He was one of the more "popular" kids, whatever popular means in a small town high school.

We ran in different circles, were part of different cliques. We talked every now and then during musical, but other than that we rarely had any social interaction. He had a lot of friends, I didn't.

Since coming to college, my development has caught up, I have learned (not mastered) the art of small talk, and now I have more friends.

So over the weekend I went back home to see the musical. The Director was there, along with some other people I graduated with. We made small talk, I was on my very best behavior, and then we parted ways. No big deal.

Yesterday he messaged me on Facebook as he sometimes does. He asked me how I liked the musical, and we just talked for a while (if you count typing words to each other over the internet as talking...) and eventually he asked me if I wanted to go to a party he was having.

Oh. My. Goodness. I was invited to a real life party...

So, now I see what it's like not being invisible. Now I see what it's like to be accepted by the "popular kids." Now I finally have the acceptance I have always craved.

It's nothing special. But seriously. I don't do parties, and I don't do popular. I am so glad I wasn't accepted in high school because now I realize that I don't need other people to accept me in order for me to be important. I am an awesome person. I don't need someone else to tell me that.

Am I grateful for the invitation? Yes. Am I going to go? Depends. But do I need an invitation or do I need to attend the party to make me important? No.

To summarize, you are important. You are amazing. You are awesome. You do not need anyone else to make you cool because you are already cool.

You do you, folks. You do you.

The Pros and Cons of Good Weather

Oh happy day! The winter is seemingly gone for good!
Now that it is warm out, take this opportunity to go outside and be in nature for a little bit. Let your inner hippie get their fix.
Something I can't wait for is going to the park with my friends to play frisbee! I will just dry some fruit and snack on the way to the Point.

Good news! I know who I'm living with next year! :D I will be living in an apartment on campus with five other girls! I need to come up with nicknames for all those people.
I will be rooming with Snow, so that should be awesome! She is one of my best friends in the world.
The girls are some of the best people I know. They all love Gilmore Girls and chocolate! We are meeting up this Thursday for food, Gilmore Girls, and hanging out before we room together. I can't even express how happy I am!

So there is something I have been noticing as the weather is getting warmer. More and more guys are harassing women on the street. I live in the city, so I am around a lot of people. I hear men whistling at women, telling them to "turn around so we can see you better." Guys, this is not okay.
Earlier today I wore one of my normal outfits that doesn't get any attention on a normal day. However, today I added heels because I need to practice walking in heels for my friend's wedding. For some reason this made a few guys think that they had the right to whistle at me and harass me on the street. Whistling at a woman is not a compliment. Telling her that her "big butt looks nice in those tight-booty jeans" is not acceptable! A person's body is not just meat for you to gawk over. Please, have some respect. And at the same time, women, please respect yourselves. Please. And know you're beautiful no matter what.