A few weeks ago I accidentally went on a date.
"How do you accidentally go on a date?"
I'll tell you how. You misread the situation, thinking that a guy just wants to hang out and get to know you better, and then they end up making a move, leaving them feeling embarrassed and you feeling stupid for not seeing the move coming.
Little things like this have been happening to me a lot lately. I want to be single. More than anything I want to focus on school and God and not have to worry about dating or all that jazz. I have a lot of guy friends, so I should be good at making it clear I only want a platonic friendship, right? WRONG.
Apparently in life guys and girls can't be "just friends" anymore. Shouldn't I be able to be friends with whomever I want without fearing that they will make a move on me, leaving me in the awkward position of telling them I'm not interested?
I don't believe in the "friendzone." I don't put people in the friendzone. I become friends with people. If things PURPOSEFULLY develop past that, cool. If not, fine. I'm just saying, there is no need to go straight into being in a relationship. Start with friendship.
Rant over.
Story time! In high school I was the weird quiet kid that no one talked to. I didn't have many friends and didn't hang out with anyone. I was never invited to parties or events. I didn't know how to navigate conversations or do the whole small talk thing. Having ADD, I developed slower than my peers emotionally and mentally, which made me an outcast in most situations.
Then there was this guy who we'll call the Director (he's going to college to be a music teacher). He was a hockey player and was involved in the musical. He was one of the more "popular" kids, whatever popular means in a small town high school.
We ran in different circles, were part of different cliques. We talked every now and then during musical, but other than that we rarely had any social interaction. He had a lot of friends, I didn't.
Since coming to college, my development has caught up, I have learned (not mastered) the art of small talk, and now I have more friends.
So over the weekend I went back home to see the musical. The Director was there, along with some other people I graduated with. We made small talk, I was on my very best behavior, and then we parted ways. No big deal.
Yesterday he messaged me on Facebook as he sometimes does. He asked me how I liked the musical, and we just talked for a while (if you count typing words to each other over the internet as talking...) and eventually he asked me if I wanted to go to a party he was having.
Oh. My. Goodness. I was invited to a real life party...
So, now I see what it's like not being invisible. Now I see what it's like to be accepted by the "popular kids." Now I finally have the acceptance I have always craved.
It's nothing special. But seriously. I don't do parties, and I don't do popular. I am so glad I wasn't accepted in high school because now I realize that I don't need other people to accept me in order for me to be important. I am an awesome person. I don't need someone else to tell me that.
Am I grateful for the invitation? Yes. Am I going to go? Depends. But do I need an invitation or do I need to attend the party to make me important? No.
To summarize, you are important. You are amazing. You are awesome. You do not need anyone else to make you cool because you are already cool.
You do you, folks. You do you.
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